Joel The Lump Of Coal

verse 1 
      D           A/C#          Bm                   A 
Some time ago, at Santa's place up in the old North Pole 
       Em             Bm                E                  A 
There lived a lump of anthracite whose parents called him Joel 
 D               A           Bm                  F#m 
Joel, Joel, the lump of coal happy as a lump can be 
    G                  D              G                A 
He just wants to keep Santa warm and make the elves cozy 

     D             A/C#              Bm               A 
But Santa Claus had other plans for Joel one fateful day 
 Em                   Bm                E              A 
Joel, you're just the lump I need come join me on my sleigh 
 D               A           Bm                  F#m 
Joel, Joel, the lump of coal heart leapt up with joy 
      G                D           G             A   B7/D# 
I'll soon be Santa's present to a lucky girl or boy 

Bridge  
        Em                    D     A                   G 
 We'll laugh and play together and hold each other tight 
   D                         A             G                  D/F# 
 Snuggle under clean white sheets when we go to sleep at night 
       Em                              D       A                G 
 Then Santa's elves all laughed at Joel you're in for a surprise 
         D                          A        G                D/F# 
 You're not a special Christmas gift you're just a booby prize 
       Em                    D        A              G 
 What kid would ever want you you're filthy as can be 
  D                         A     G 
 Now you have to go and live with one who's been naughty 

     D       G    E/G#        A      A#dim7  Bm 
 But I make heat, poor Joel cried and electricity 
                 D7/C              A7 
 You pollute the air with CO2 and mercury 


verse 2 
  D               A                 Bm            F#m 
 Joel, Joel, the lump of coal fell down upon his knees 
    G                       D                 G                A 
 I don't wanna live with a naughty kid don't make me, Santa, please 
      D                A/C#              Bm                 A 
 But Santa laughed his jolly laugh  Ho, Ho, you stupid lump 
         Em                 Bm                  E               A 
 You're just the thing to teach this brat that Santa ain't no chump 


    D                    A/C#          Bm            A 
 So off they flew and, before he knew Joel was in a sack 
      Em                 Bm              E                A 
 He cried and yelled to Santa Claus why don't we just go back 

Bridge  
      Em                        D 
 And then came Christmas morning 
       A                                    G           
 And, much to Joel's surprise (Much to Joel's surprise) 
     D                             A            
 He saw a boy with the saddest face 
      G                                D/F# 
 And tears were in his eyes (Tears were in his eyes) 
    Em                         D 
 He picked Joel up and held him 
      A                                   G 
 And said you can be my friend (Hey man, let's be friends) 
     D                           A 
 I would've liked some presents but 
          G                              D/F# 
 You're what Santa chose to send (Santa chose to send) 
       Em                           D 
 It's true, I've been a naughty boy 
      A                          G 
 And maybe that's a sin (Maybe that's a sin) 
      D                              A      G 
 If this is how Santa treats the kids, I'm just glad that I'm not him 

verse 3 
  D               A            Bm              F#m 
 Joel, Joel, the lump of coal knew what he must do 
          G               D        G              A 
 He said now I know the reason why I got sent to you 
         D               A/C#         Bm                 A 
 Cause when a person hurts inside it turns him hard and cruel 
     Em             Bm               E                 A 
 But I know how to make your pain into a precious jewel 

     D              A/C#                   Bm                  A 
 So take me in your hand, young man and squeeze with all your might 
        Em                Bm          E                      A 
 Let's turn your pain and anger into something that shines bright 
       D               A               Bm            F#m 
 Then Joel, Joel, the lump of coal he gave his life away 
     G                 D                G            A       D 
 Oh, one good naughty little boy had a diamond on Christmas day   

Outro  (D)   A   |Bm  F#m |G   D  |G   A  ||D